Some days I am a Goddess.
Some days I am a Wild Child.
and some days I am a Fragile Mess.
most days I am a bit of all three.
…everyday, I am here trying.
-s.c. lourie
View from Sayan House, Ubud, Bali
It is said that Mama Bali gives you what you need to heal, not necessarily what you want but what you need. Having just returned from my third trip to this magical place, I can definitely concur. The first trip to Bali 18 years ago was certainly pivotal; much of my adult life was shaped by what I encountered and who I met in Bali, including the first love of my life. You could say the trip was life changing, except that I can’t imagine it going any other way.
My second trip to Bali, last year, was ostensibly to visit my brother, who had moved there after some difficult shifts in his life. However, when I arrived, my brother had just sort of left for 5 days in Japan - I was hurt and disappointed at first, and then I realized that the alone time offered me the perfect opportunity to re-acquaint myself with a place that had been so pivotal in my life - shortly before the plane even landed in Bali, I began to process a surge of feelings that arose through writing - and that writing continued for much of those 5 days that my brother was away and helped me find deep healing from heartache and ultimately self love.
Overall, that second trip reaffirmed my affinity to Bali - the types of people it attracts, the inherent culture that is there and the magical land itself - it is said to be located on one of the vortexes of the world. It was great to spend the time with my brother and to see his life there, still uncertain of how long it would last - he was too at this point.
In summary, my first trip to Bali gave me love and my second trip gave me healing, so I was excited to see what this latest trip would bring.
This latest trip to Bali, I was able to see how nicely my brother’s life there was shaping up. From the start of his deciding to live across the globe, I have been his number one supporter, and I am so proud of him for following his dreams. On my end, I was finally able to bring my husband to Bali, and I also happen to be in my second trimester of pregnancy.
From L to R: My brother and resident yoga instructor extraordinaire, Amit, my blessed and pregnant self, and my amazing husband and travel buddy Mahdad.
I was surrounded by love on this trip - from a brother who is also a dear friend, my husband and also our soon to be baby boy. People can experience Bali in a variety of ways and it is pretty common for some to come to an area called Ubud to enjoy the many spiritual offerings of the area - yoga classes, meditation, healing journeys etc. This type of scene has always been my type of scene and made for a very appealing trip. It has not always been my husband’s scene so I was pleased to see him so enthusiastically immerse himself into these classes and workshops. It is one of the reasons I love him - he is open, adventurous and often up for anything. About 8 months ago we moved from NYC to Southern California and that transition in and of itself for him was a lot (I have lived here before, he had spent 17 years in NYC after 4 years in Montreal for University). About 2 months ago, he joined me in going to Bhaktifest, a large yoga festival at Joshua Tree and I LOVED how he just enthusiastically joined in on yoga, chanting, dancing etc - a side of my interests he hadn’t seen me immersed in until then.
Thus, in Bali, aside from a day trip to one of the nearby islands, we were primarily in Ubud. Our quasi-routine was to have these amazing meals at such a great variety of healthy restaurants that my brother hand picked (often with recs on what to order) and in between, we had spa treatments and either shopped or took classes - our first two nights involved ecstatic dancing, which was a perfect way to shake things up to initiate taking in everything else. We also took part in a cacao ceremony for the supermoon, involving connecting with strangers at deep levels (eye gazing and loving comments). We also took classes such as shamanic breathwork and activated consciousness meditation that in the past often had me in tears - I was curious in the effects on me of all the powerful breathwork and bodywork we were doing, especially paired with the prenatal massages I was getting. I took part in a beautiful and powerful women’s circle as well.
And then it hit - at first I had this nagging feeling of a dark cloud coming over me and thought maybe I just needed some alone time, so I took off one morning for a breakfast on my own, some silence and some writing and felt pretty good, better, you could say. But then, I found myself battling some strong (and familiar emotions) such as discontent, sadness, melancholy, anger. I have a feeling I can fall into at times which is like an abyss in the pit of my stomach - through a lot of conscious work, I am able to identify and discern that only I can help myself in these situations and there is no point in spreading my own unhappiness onto others, especially those closest to me (which I had definitely done in the past). And I saw that I was starting to be unpleasant around both my brother and my husband so I distanced myself again - and eventually turned to my journal because I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on.
After writing, there was so much clarity - basically, I called upon my higher self (the healer, the one who has helped MANY on their own emotional paths) to help the egoic self (the part of me that was stuck) and at first the egoic self needed to vent and as I sat crying and writing, I was able to see what was happening. It was an old issue that I had dealt with before but somehow got provoked from all the work we had been doing paired with how much time I was spending with people. The inner child. After working with people for more than 10 years on their physical and emotional selves, I see this as a very common issue, especially among women (well, men have been conditioned to repress their inner children). Basically, the inner child can be a beautiful thing to be connected to - especially the side that can make someone carefree, free spirited, fun, spontaneous, silly etc - I definitely have all of those sides. The flip side can be when the child feels unloved, unheard, unworthy. And that’s how I was feeling in that moment - in the past I used to get fixated on why I would feel this way; now, after much transformational work, I just acknowledge the feelings and then provide soothing reassurance in the form of meditative affirmations to my inner child, which really did the trick.
So after identifying the issue through journal writing, I start meditating and soon go into a deep state of meditation for healing the inner child - basically telling her everything she wants to hear and end up falling asleep constantly repeating things like “you are enough”, “you are loved” “you are beautiful”. It may sound insane to some - but after working with many people, oftentimes VIPs such as high powered CEOs, celebrities and supermodels, we all can have a chip on our shoulder and these reminders are really empowering - perhaps it’s the contrast of the inner voice criticisms and the empowering reminders that allow for the people that I work with to be as motivated as they are.
At the end of my meditative journey, I find that I feel deeply healed, being able to bring a level of enthusiasm to the trip that made sense when working with a group. I was so freaking proud that I was able to spiritually diagnose and heal myself that I knew this was the next level growth for me. And it made so much sense, I am PREPARING TO BE A MOTHER. OF COURSE I HAVE GOT TO WORK THROUGH MY INNER CHILD ISSUES.
Mama to be in Mama Bali
Thus, my third trip to Mama Bali gave me some good training to be a Mama myself - to nurture the inner child within, so that I can do the same for my son when he arrives, and also to remember that my own inner child may get provoked with the transition into motherhood and to be easy on myself (something that ironically doesn’t always come naturally - perhaps that is why I preach about self care so much).
Thus, I leave you with a beautiful meditation to help your own inner child, in case they are trying to express something to you and it’s coming out in ways that just make you not feel so proud. Hear them out, acknowledge them, and love them up so much that you feel so solid in who you are.
With Love and Light,
Shaffali
I am currently about a month into second trimester of pregnancy - at week 17. Well, I was expecting magically at week 13 for my symptoms to transform as my trimester changed, but then I had to remind myself to listen to the wisdom of my body - it knows.
I noticed that something wasn’t feeling right at work in my company (side note: I have never worked as hard as I have since being pregnant, perhaps sort of prepping for needing some time off post baby) and at our weekly meeting I just let out some tears - feeling pressure to make a decision on whether to move forward with a project - I was leaning towards a no and was making it mean that I had failed. Anyway, a couple days later, I got an email from a friend mentioning they were selling last minute tix to a yoga festival - one I knew that I loved and had thought it was too late to plan to go.
My intuition and body spoke up! I needed a break and I was going to take it on my terms! We were making it happen - I convinced my husband to join me (he too is an entrepreneur and we both appreciate the flexibility in lifestyle we have as a part of this) and the next day we were packed to go camping at Joshua Tree and to attend Bhakti Fest. We got there just after sunset and found a spot to camp in the dark which “felt” right (we couldn’t see!) - it turned out to be the perfect spot. We arrived on a Wednesday and took the festival full on for Thursday and Friday.
After not really being active or practicing yoga regularly you would think going camping (for the first time with my husband) and being in the middle of the harsh extremes of the desert to practice yoga may not be the most appealing situation - but again, I FELT it in my body that I must go.
Once we arrived, setup camp and stared at the magical stars in awe, I knew all was meant to be and that this time away in deeper nature was good for my being as well as the baby (and for my husband!). It turned out to be quite a romantic trip in which we got lost in our own world while he simultaneously got to see a side of his yogini wife’s world he hadn’t seen.
On the first day, we attended yoga at 8am, a chanting workshop with the amazing Gina Sala who has the voice of an ancient goddess and angel at 9:30am, walked around a bit, had some lunch and attended class at 2pm with the amazing Mark Whitwell. Mark is quite authentic and I love how he embraces philosophy into his classes - he is adamant on creating a shift in consciousness, in various ways, and I love it. His topic of choice (amongst a few) was that yoga has also been a victim of the patriarchy and its time to reclaim the beauty of both the feminine and masculine wisdom within it. I did enjoy when he singled me out in class to say I was the embodiment of this new wave of yogic wisdom and beauty. That was a highlight for me for sure:)
We roamed, napped, ate, listened to music in the evening. Watched the stars again at night, still in complete amazement. Mahdad and I came out to Joshua Tree to celebrate our 1st anniversary 5 months prior and we never really embraced the stars like we did whilst camping on this particular trip, so I was happy he got to see just how magical they are there.
On our second day we did back-to-back morning yoga, at 8am and another at 9:30am with the amazing Govinda Das & Radha - where we combined devotional chants, dancing and yoga.
We then went to a workshop on opening the heart chakra - though the teaching was a bit slow paced, the exercises practiced were nice, especially one in which we brought our attention to what we can offer the world - I went on and on about all that I am super passionate about :) And then we were told to offer all of that to ourselves, which was a beautiful exercise in openness to receive.
At one point, we went to our tent for some relaxation and snacks and to just refresh. While there, the yoga space that we were camping closest to started playing some pretty upbeat music - a combination of kirtan (devotional chants) and electronica - it was like the world of the festival combining with one of my husband (and mine too) favorite world - so we started our own personal dance party in the desert - dancing with Mahdad in the middle of the desert with such energy and joy was by far one of my favorite memories of the weekend. And we sometimes give these cosmic hugs to each other, one in particular that he gave me on our second date that was just another one of those signs of me listening to how good it felt in my body. Anyway, after our joy, laughter and dancing, we gave each other one of those cosmic hugs. At one point, Mahdad taped me dancing to this music (we later joined in to the dance class and learned the music is called Kirtronica! - definitely check out Jaya Lakshmi and Ananda. So here is a clip which just brings joy to me about that particular afternoon and Mahdad’s and I pure delight when the music came on (we had no expectation and it was our first introduction to it)
That evening, we went to a sound healing for which we both fell into a bit of a deep sleep and then later, Mahdad heard MC Yogi and Bhagavan Das perform - artists he hears me play at home all the time and enjoyed putting faces and personalities to.
I don’t think its just coincidence that going to BhaktiFest happened right after a new moon in which I really did some powerful rituals, including re-doing my altar and setting powerful intentions.
Anyway, Saturday morning we left - I would have loved to stay the whole festival but in convincing Mahdad to join me, I told him I would keep my commitment to taking him to the Long Beach airport on Saturday morning for a pre-planned sports conference he was attending in SF. So on Saturday, off we went.
I learned a very important lesson, listen to the wisdom of your body, it knows what you need. For me it is doing the things that bring me joy - like dance! :):):)
Namaste
]]>Shaffali has a treasure chest full of tools to provide seekers spiritual guidance on specific asks and has been working with celebrities to supermodels privately for the past decade. Now she wishes to spread healing through the power of video - watch to learn how you can receive such guidance.
]]>Inner Child Guided Meditation facilitating harmonious family dynamics - a guided journey to healing and heart centered family connections. Letting go of the things that block us from unconditional love.
]]>Join us for a talk and meditation - we encourage you to follow along. Inner Child Guided Meditation for Heart Centered Family Connections Facilitating harmonious family dynamics by connecting with the inner child - a guided journey to healing and heart centered family connections. Letting go of the things that block us from unconditional love.
]]>Over 50% of our communication is body language - what does your posture say to the world for you?
Try these tips for how to to stand and sit taller, stronger and more confidently. Includes rituals you can begin and close your day with.
]]>Confidently Aligned Powerful Poise
Over 50% of our communication is body language - what does your posture say to the world for you?
Try these tips for how to to stand and sit taller, stronger and more confidently. Includes rituals you can begin and close your day with.
]]>I am a woman of many, many rituals. Chai has been a ritual in my life for more than two decades. I have been perfecting my morning cup ever since I moved out of my parents home for college at 17. However, the love affair began much before 17. I vividly remember a yearning for chai at an age my mom thought I was too young to be drinking chai, perhaps I was 8?
In quiet, sweet and innocent rebellion, fixated on drinking a warm and comforting, sweet and energizing concoction, I began to brew "chai" in my play kitchen's coffee maker - the only time and type of coffee maker I have ever owned. I would pour lukewarm tap water into the play kitchen appliance along with a black teabag. Finally, my mother, understanding her daughter's determination and stubbornness, gave me some real chai because of her concern about the lukewarm tap water with teabag concoction.
I have always been a fan of my mother's creations in the kitchen and her chai did not disappoint - rarely did the many cups to follow in my life - I grew up in a home where chai is a twice a day ritual. When I went away to college in Boston, it was one of my go to comforts - and it has evolved as I have - through the icy cold winters in the northeast to grey afternoons in London. I continued the tradition when I lived in Southern California though noticed that I changed the spices in it to compliment the bright sunny weather.
My current chai recipe has traveled through space and time to me, honoring the many ancestors of mine who used the chai ritual as a time to reflect and awaken. It is part of my awakening ritual for certain. Chai is near and dear to me as it symbolizes the family, including extended family, getting together, and lounging around over a good cup of chai.
I was in India last year during this time doing shopping for my wedding and my Masi, my mother's sister, Radha, the one who actually NAMED me Shaffali (and yes I mention to her all the time that I have a brand NAMED Shaffali and its all because of her)....Anyway, I digress - Radha Masi showed me a technique in chai making that is only 1 year old in my life which involves the spices being in the mix before the black tea. I would also like to take a moment and acknowledge my Renu Bua, my father's sister, for introducing me to a brand of black tea I love for its strength and aroma of authentic Indian chai, which I mention in the recipe below. This upgrade was introduced 4 years ago when she came to visit me for a large Thanksgiving dinner I had whipped up in my NYC apt. Thus, the recipe continues to evolve - and the key spices I add have always evolved, especially in accordance with the season - thus, for December, I offer you my recipe for chai which I think is a great balance of eastern essence made for a western palette, with a relatively mild spice and aroma - though you will see, with some experimentation, what level and type of spices you enjoy to make your own signature chai.
Prep:
Prep spices by grinding them in a mortar and pestle, if possible. Otherwise, cut/breakdown into small pieces. Be aware that cardamom and star anise are stronger in flavor per the same qty vs the others so use sparingly. It will take a few cups of chai for you to figure out your favorite balances of flavor - so you can perfect your own chai masala. Basically, pre-made chai masala is also available but I have never had any success with it as it is far too strong for my delicate palate.
Namaste,
Shaffali
Thus, when I think about what my go-to comfort food is, I think what is light on my stomach, nutritious and delicious. Luckily, quite a few foods come to mind. The first that will usually come to mind that is also calming for the mind and body is Mung Daal. Today, I share my mung dal recipe passed down from my mother, to you.
Mung beans are high in B Vitamins (perhaps this is why it calms my mind? :) and also contain Vitamins C, E and K. Mung beans also contain several minerals such as calcium, iron and magnesium. This therefore helps to make Mung Daal a light and nutrient rich recipe that is delicious.
One item my mother always emphasized with me about cooking was to never get fixated on measurements and to experiment with increasing and decreasing ingredients to customize each dish to your palate as well as any dietary preferences. This advice has served me well, giving me creative license to modify foods and I take pride in honing in on the essence of my mother's cooking while making slight adjustments for my more mild American palate. I highly encourage you to apply this advice from my mom.
The photos above and below are of a good solid base for flavorful Mung Daal. Please note that it is possible to have daal without thadka. Taste your daal both with and without thadka to see if you appreciate the layers and complexity that simple thadka can add, not to mention the added health benefits.
Begin sautéing the onion in the ghee.
While lightly frying, add in the cumin seeds, salt, pepper, turmeric, asafetida.
Once browned, add in the chopped tomato and continue sautéing until your thadka looks like the photos.
Rinse the beans in water until the water you wash them in is void of most cloudiness that would come up from stirring the beans in a bowl of water.
Bring the beans to boil in 2 cups of water, adding in veggies according to how dense they are. Meaning, if I am using carrots, I will add them in at the beginning and if working with spinach, I add it in towards the end.
Once the beans come to a boil, reduce heat to medium or low and let cook for another 5-10minutes.
Lastly, combine the thadka into the daal and heat together for a couple minutes. Garnish with Cilantro. Enjoy with rice or roti, or as a soup by itself. I am personally far more satisfied with either rice or roti to provide a complete meal.
Voila! And there you have it. Mung Daal: Light, healthy, rich in vitamins and minerals!
Enjoy and may you always be blessed to eat well.
Love, Light + Namaste,
Shaffali
Simple Luxury:
Infuse water into a copper vessel - mine happens to show the wear and tear of age. If you are discouraged at this point because you down't own a copper vessel - well, you can simply use a glass.
Sprinkle in some fennel seeds.
Voila - you are drinking water that is good for you, your digestive system, breath and brain!
Though infusing water in copper is a concept that is thousands of years old, in recent times it has been validated:
"The latest health claim says that drinking water from a copper cup boosts health by reducing inflammation, bolstering brain functioning, aiding in weight loss, slowing aging, fighting cancer, and acting like an anti- microbial." Source: https://www.today.com/health/drinking-copper-cup-good-health-or-latest-health-fad-t86946
As for fennel, it too has been used for ages as a digestive aid; simply chewing on the seeds - something I love to do and do often - releases vital compounds that help naturally refresh the mouth to freshen breath AND they actually address the real culprit for bad breath: the digestive system.
Love + Light,
Shaffali
"When I use Shaffali Skincare, created with Ayurvedic intent and organic ingredients, I am reminded me to be present and I feel that I am nourishing my skin and myself.
The whole facial is wonderful. Lately I find myself relying on the mask and exfoliant - which has the lovely texture of cake-batter."
Samantha and I met in our 30s at Summer Camp in the Adirondacks...Hosted by WeWork where we both housed our ventures at the time - she at the Soho NYC location and I at Soho West. Thus, aside from past lives, we had never crossed paths before Camp.
We had an instant connection early Saturday morning after the first night at camp, both of us scoping out the kitchen for some fresh lemon to have morning lemon water. I was instantly impressed by how much lemon she used in her lemon water. We quickly came to find many common interests - growing up in New England, beauty, yoga, travel and I almost instantly invited her to try my pineapple + peppermint facial scrub - my thoughts at the time, as well as what quickly became reality were: "I will scrub my face side by side with you right then and there in the cabin bathroom at Summer Camp, dear new friend."
And that's how a friendship that has lasted 5 years in nyc began. Simple, Lemony, Minty, Scrubby...
Over the course of the past 5 years, I have enjoyed Samantha's company especially when needing to speak to someone who is an artist in every sense of the word - professionally, passionately, academically and practically. After studying Art History and Fine Art at NYU, Fashion at FIT and Interior Design at Parsons, Samantha began Samantha Gore Interiors + Design.
Samantha's work featuring blue paint imported from Morocco, a special request from a client who wanted the specific blue - Majorelle Blue - he saw in Marrakech.
Samantha: What lights me up.. What a great question. Brings to mind what my pleasures and delights.
Short list - Laughing. Surprise outbursts and deep belly laughs !
The sun.
Connecting with new people in inspired ways.
Flirting.
Creative collaboration.
Kundalini yoga.
My niece.
Gorgeous color.
Delightful coincidence.
Italy
Mythology - how past and stories are interwoven into modern life
Lights me up is different than what keeps me aglow - coming home to my love. being in the nature. being with my family. to name a few.
Check Samantha out at http://goredesigns.com/
]]>Meet founder Shaffal M. as she guides you through what makes Shaffali Beauty Unique and Effective! Each product in Shaffali Skin Rituals is not only made with the highest natural ingredients, but also blessings. Featuring exotic ingredients from all over the globe, the line was created to not only help users skin, but also to help them connect to their inner selves.
]]>"My first experience with Shaffali Skincare has completely changed my approach to my daily routine. I was introduced to it in 2013. The invigorating scent of the products just breath this lovely scent into your well-being and set you up for the day! From the quality ingredients, carefully hand-picked by it’s beautiful founder and CEO Shaffali Miglani you get to experience a true beauty from within while helping your skin to be in it’s healthiest glowing state possible.
The results were evident from the first use of these amazing products for me: my skin responded immediately to the combination of naturally intoxicating aromas mixed in with Ayurvedic ancient wisdom. I fell in love with Shaffali beauty products ever since.
The highlights for me are Lavender + Turmeric Facial Cleanser and Mango + Lavender Body Scrub.
I absolutely recommend this skincare line to everyone to start their journey to show off their healthy beautiful skin."
]]>Shaffali Skincare products are brought to you by rituals + ingredients inspired by Shaffali M.'s mother and their native India. Shaffali M. has been making products since she was 13 years old and worked in the spa industry for over a decade spanning LA, London and NYC.
]]>Shaffali Miglani, Creator of Shaffali Skincare, introduces you to the Shaffali Facial. Shaffali Skincare products are brought to you by rituals + ingredients inspired by Shaffali M.'s mother and their native India. Shaffali M. has been making products since she was 13 years old and worked in the spa industry for over a decade spanning LA, London and NYC.
]]>Nature, Travel
Me Posing with one of the MANY waterfalls in Costa Rica
I was recently in Costa Rica for the type of vacation that is the perfect mix of relaxing (staying at The Four Seasons, spa treatments and sitting by gorgeous beaches), active in mind (I took an inspirational writing workshop), active in body (adrenaline-rushing zip lining, jungle trekking, waterfall rapelling, white water rafting), and active in spirit (daily meditation and yoga). The trip was so rejuvenating and I am back in NYC ready to run Shaffali Skincare with all the energy one collects by LIVING OUT LOUD.
Costa Rica is the currently #1 Happiest Country in the World by The Happy Planet Index. The Happy Planet Index assesses each country on items such as global data on life expectancy, experienced well-being and Ecological Footprint.
This got me thinking about what factors we use for being Happy Human Beings as well as tips I may provide from my humble experiences as a woman who owns a business she founded based on her passion (as well as my innate interests in psychology, meditation, self improvement, philosophy and my magnetism towards beauty, balance…and happiness).
Happiness is certainly something I have put concentrated efforts towards in my life. Many of my favorite reads are spiritual by nature and I love taking courses that help to increase self-awareness, such as with Landmark Education. My own journal is over 4,000 pages and many times it is through my writing that I reach a far more contented state (ie: happiness).
Thus, the practices I suggest, as a cumulative result from the aforementioned interests, courses, reading and life practice itself are:
Below, I elaborate on how to incorporate each practice into your own life. I also attempted to match pics from the trip with each point.
Even when traveling, at least on this particular perfectly balanced trip, I maintain my daily meditation practice...helping to reinforce peace ALL the time.
Begin each day in quiet in order to connect to the part of yourself that can “observe” you – if you can detach yourself from your stress in a healthy way, the perspective and peace gained can allow you to find the soul’s wisdom (your intuition) to have the answers. I have found it is when I meditate that I am most at peace with myself and others – my whole world changes when I connect to the peace of my inner world. This is EXACTLY why the instructions for how to use Shaffali Skincare are partly meditations!
You can pour out love to anything that has LIFE in it! Including this adorable lizard that has some pretty cool camouflage – I was proud of how close I was able to get without disturbing it... maybe it felt my compassion...
The way we think, act and feel become such ingrained habits in us that we often do not realize our own internal chatter as either “positive” or “negative” – check in with yourself and see if you can have loving internal chatter towards yourself and others – and then let those internal thoughts become your external expression of love to all. This means no judging, criticizing, complaining – and being kind to all. I have found when I can practice compassion to the most unpleasant people is when I feel the most love because my heart goes out to those who don’t act compassionate themselves, since it stems from their own pain at some level. Thus increase compassion and reduce your own pain and suffering…and INCREASE your love and happiness.
L: White Whater Rafting on one of the top ten rivers (according to National Geographic) in the world to do it! – The Pacuare River. R: About to zip line through the beautiful rainforest. Both of these examples are fun and adventurous ways to get your BODY MOVING!
We all want to look fabulous. The trick is it does require effort, especially as we get older. Never mind people with lucky genes. Thus, find what sort of exercise in body really resonates with you (cardio in the form of running, cycling or spin…strength training with weights…mellow or intense stretching and introspection in yoga, tai chi or martial arts….expression in the form of dance…a combo in the form of circuit training..)… and DO IT! If none resonate, then think of it as a routine or regimen you are making efforts in so that you get this amazing reward of a beautiful body (and skin!). I try to run 1 mile 3xweek (a lot for a girl who does not like to run – but the benefits are amazing) I also practice yoga 3 times per week at a minimum and LOVE getting cardio from expressive dance.
Me the day I was beginning a writing workshop in Costa Rica, at the Four Seasons…it was so inspiring!
Our minds are capable of so many thoughts and to continue to keep it active (learning, observing, working) is very healthy so as not to overthink – believe me, when I first began my business from a home office working alone, my mind began to go down paths that were not so nice that I never realized existed! I have learned, the hard way, that an active mind is a healthy mind!
In these moments above, I was certainly feeling abundant AND GRATEFUL...
Abundance, in this case, is the feeling of being full. We often associate abundance with financial wealth and that is valid. But don’t underestimate the value in having abundance in your MIND and SOUL; meaning feel full and nourished so you attract that and are not in a constant state of “lack”. Think about the difference between someone with lots of money who doesn’t feel like they have enough versus someone with less that is always happy and grateful – who is abundant and who feels abundant?
Money matters in this world and you can be a person “who works to live” as I imagine they do in Costa Rica or, more aptly as our country (the US) is described “live to work”. Work can be fulfilling and healthy or it can just be a paycheck. Remain grateful for either of those things. And get in the mental mindset that all that you have is enough. If you want more, then you must take action in line with that. Create goals associated with a date and a measurable way to judge if you achieved the goal. Work hard and practice all of the above for some happiness!
So, now go forth and put my humble advice into action and see what unfolds for you! I know the visuals in this blog make it seem like of course life is a fairytale, but its not always and I work at it through daily rituals, including when not on vacation. In the morning, I begin with spiritual music, drinking hot water with lemon and turmeric (one of our KEY ingredients in Shaffali Skincare) and then comes my meditation as well as my run (or a yoga client depending on what day it is). I make fresh chai, grinding my own spices, nourished and ready to go to the office or meetings. I take yoga for lunch. I incorporate compassion due to my meditation into my life. My body balance actually helps my mind balance. And finances allow me freedom (to go to Costa Rica) as well as for me to support myself and those that I love.
Sunset from the last night in Costa Rica...
Wishing each of you much, much HAPPINESS, love and light,
Shaffali
Through several what-seemed-and-felt-like serious relationships, I have learned that the way we treat others is an insight into how we feel about ourselves. Thus, if you want LOVE, you have got to BE love. All those ideas in your head as to what dream love could be? BE each one of those ideas/images/dreams yourself first - you will quickly learn what is realistic to expect of others and what you should perhaps let go of - let the mystery of life pleasantly surprise you. Give love; a concept I understood in theory a long time ago though practicing it took 20 years. The prerequisite of loving and accepting myself was the challenge. Here is a quote (designed by yours truly) I had decorating my high school locker (amongst other artistic endeavors) at age 15:
Another barrier to self love: Blocks in the heart chakra (for those not familiar with chakras or energy, imagine emotional blocks in the heart). I had a major block in my heart energy for 13 years (seriously - and I do not recall breaking any mirrors).
I could and would not let go of the dreamy and romantic love letters from my first relationship. I CHOSE not to let them go. My favorite thing about being in love the first time was our love letters...perhaps it was the fact that we were flying across the Atlantic monthly between Boston and London to see each other (after meeting while traveling through Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand the summer before my senior year in college...). The letters became fueled with unbelievable passion, openness and vulnerability...and just plain cuteness. Perhaps it was just how first love puppy love is...
Fast forward 13 years: I finally burned every. single. one. of. those. love. letters. Emotional feng shui (blog coming soon). The tears seemed endless and what a ceremony it was - done in a havan vessel which had assisted in numerous powerful prayer ceremonies for the home throughout the years. I knew I needed to let go of the heavy clutter of past love in my heart in order to make space for something new. But it still hurt.
I had emotionally purged and theoretically purified my aura. There, power! I am a free, happy, independent, powerful woman. Really I felt like a single mother with my baby being my business. The pangs of loneliness stung.
I had just turned 34, I was single and feeling really down due to a lack of love that I thought only existed from external sources (blame is not pretty people...it can cause some really low lows). It was a period where I felt quite distanced from everyone..partly because I did distance myself -The bubble of Manhattan allows for an ironic isolation one can experience only as a real New Yorker, perhaps especially so as an entrepreneur. It can be a cold, hard concrete jungle indeed. At the time some close members in my family were choosing not to communicate with me. At the time this bothered me. I CHOSE to let it bother me (are you sensing a pattern here?) To give me the love and support that I needed, I mustered up the will to write a beautiful self-love letter.
The following self-love letter was written October 2014:
"My Dear Sweet Beautiful Shaffali,
You are such a good human being and its only when you forget this that you get lost. Remember that you are loved and that you are love. You've been through so much heartache - just remember some of it has been exaggerated based on how you chose to deal with what life gave you. Things are changing. Shift is happening. Shift has been happening your whole life - due to your lifelong journey of intense self-discovery. It's taken you a while to understand yourself and that's okay. (Note: I now understand that I only continue to evolve...hence, I will never truly understand myself because I am ever-changing. What I can do is love myself, wherever I am in my journey). This is partly why you have been misunderstood by some people...but you are finally getting it - do good and be good to others and for others, and everything will fall into place.
I know you always had the best intentions..and that life didn't unfold exactly the way you wanted and that's okay - it unfolded exactly the way it was supposed to and the way that allowed you to learn lessons you needed. You have built more character and strength because of what you have been through. Now find that authentic voice to share your story. Own who you are. Yes, you are a bit self-absorbed - but what is most important is that your heart is in the right place. Don't let your sensitivity allow negativity to get in your way. Rise, despite the haters (remember, hating is a reflection of them, not you) YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE. Truly You are. You are so Fucking Talented (paused to cry - it felt so good to acknowledge myself and own my brilliance - (try it and if you do it from the deepest depths of your heart, you may cry too). You have so so so much to offer the world - stop holding back because you get so self absorbed with what people will think. Fuck the haters. If you can inspire and improve even one life, haven't you made a difference? So - how are you going to inspire others my dear? (My response (and yes I talk to myself between first and third person in my journal from time to time): by SHARING my writing, yoga, meditation, dance, photography and self care/skin care rituals). Okay, so CREATE vs CONSUME. I love you. You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are LOVE."
The actual journal and letter to myself are below - you cannot enlarge the images intentionally - they are meant for stylistic purposes.
I was introduced to the man of my dreams in November 2014 – I do not believe it is mere coincidence that I was able to allow the man of my dreams into my life after the love letter – The amount you give love to yourself reflects how much love you will give to someone else. As stated previously: I knew I needed to let go of the heavy clutter of past love in my heart in order to make space for something new.
Thus, if you want to find a love that is not in your life, if you want to heal a relationship to fill it with love that is in your life, follow the simple advice from 15 year old me (which 35 year old me is only now deeply integrating as a fiancée (!)):
The Principle is Simple: If you meet life with love, with a smile, you will find love and something to smile about. -Shaffali, age 15
Don’t be hard on yourself if practicing love takes time (it took me 20 years in this case - TWO DECADES) – love requires patience and kindness - can you spread patience and kindness to yourself and others? Be gentle and give yourself time and lots of kindness in the process.
Another deeply healing way to love yourself? Take a beautiful Royal Bath - my baths are filled with salts, oils, flower petals - the works (note: Shaffali Signature Royal Baths launching in time for melting away our winter coats!!). Treat yourself like a queen if you want someone else to as well. And while I soak in my bath, I enjoy the best mask I know to breathe new life into my skin:
Okay, go off and write yourself the most beautiful love letter and put our Shaffali beauty earth mask on - then bask in the glow you get from self-love letters and royal baths.
Shine Bright Beautiful!
Lots and lots of LOVE to you,
Shaffali
PS Optional exercise: write your mom, aunt, sister or bestie a HAND WRITTEN love letter and ask her for a response in the dying art of handwriting...yet another loss to human connection - love is ENERGY that emanates from living beings, not technology, people - perhaps thats why I felt the need to share my handwritten pages above.
]]>Enter the Vision Board.
I get excited just mentioning it.
]]>A Visionary is defined as one who can envision the future; thinking about or planning the future with imagination or wisdom.
In each new year, many people set out to make resolutions for the new year in order to “improve”, finally break patterns to “change” or reach goals in items like finances or weight. The intention is wonderful, but when I look back at lists I have created in the past, sometimes as early as February the list becomes a “to do” list of sorts and either gets buried or I simply become disenchanted with what seems to have transformed into a daunting list of goals. I understand there are many ways to structure goals to have more likeliness in achieving them, such as S.M.A.R.T. goals (you can google those as I will not be elaborating in this post). However, perhaps it's just the format (words, no color, no excitement, no VISUAL) that is most disenchanting to me. My life is full of so much color – perhaps the rich influences of my Indian heritage or perhaps my days of living in LA or all the tropical places in the world I am drawn to – the bottom line is life in color stimulates and MOTIVATES me. I even have a pair of orange tinted sunglasses I wear when it gets too grey for my liking in NYC. Even the keyboard I type with is rainbow colored.
Enter the Vision Board.
I get excited just mentioning it. I was first introduced to the concept of creating what wellness author Jane Alexander called “treasure maps” (even more exciting – and a bit more descriptive) when I was a late teen. A few short years later, without feeling like I knew exactly what I was doing, I flipped through magazines, taking out visuals which moved me at an emotional level (they made me happy and they were pictures of things I wanted...basically my heart screamed “YES!!”) and eventually finished with a board full of flowers, a fountain, beautiful bench and a bunch of romantic phrases. I was 22 at the time and little did I know that I put together the visuals of the place that I would be proposed to (which just happened a few weeks ago at age 35). Seriously – and its crazy because as the proposal was happening I had no idea it was going to happen then (perhaps it was because of my haziness from having taken a red eye from California to Florida just a few hours prior...perhaps its because I didn't take my phone out with me....or more honestly because I didn't see any photographer anywhere AND definitely because I didn't have the right outfit; it’s the most casual I have ever been in a flower garden...yes, I can be superficial at times - I do believe there is a time, place and dress code for everything). Thus, I honestly thought I could not possibly be being proposed to because I was in a tank top in shorts, forget the absolutely stunning setting I was in with the man of my dreams. That night after I really absorbed the monumental and very happy event, I had a dream which brought the visual of my very first vision board to mind and it just solidified what was happening even more. Since making that vision board 13 years ago, I have been so blessed to have seen some gorgeous flower gardens in my life – from India to France to Bali to Costa Rica and California. And, the one that the vision board most looked like was the beautiful rose garden in Florida that I was proposed to in - not the most exotic destination in the world yet something I envisioned as a totally romantic place to me! It may sound a bit too good to be true or that perhaps I am "looking" to connect my vision boards to my reality, but I myself only feel confident about sharing this article with you after so many years of using vision boards; So many visions and phrases I have put on past vision boards have come true to such SPECIFICITY (and every time I am surprised/shocked....and then not).
Yes, I am going to provide guidance, broken down into a few easy steps of how you too can create a vision board and literally watch your dreams become your reality.
But first, to indulge in a few more inspiring shares in order to emphasize the magic of vision boards: A few years ago, running my businesses of my organic skincare line (Shaffali) and cultivating my private yoga + meditation teaching practice to VIPs in NYC and LA (no website as I take referrals only), I was feeling confused about what else I wanted to DO or HAVE in my life. And, believe me, I get that true peace and happiness are only found in the present moment - this is part of what I teach my clients. But I also believe we are all put on this earth with special gifts to contribute in our own way to make the world a better place. It is not that I was ungrateful for already having a dream life - I am so thankful for both of my businesses but I knew there was more I wanted – so I turned to a vision board – and it was a pivotal time. I had just gone through yet another break up of someone who had been in my life the past few years and then, at 33, I wanted to take stock of a few things, so I made 3 large vision boards:
1. The first vision board was for my SELF (WHO AM I IN MY IDEAL LIFE?) - I felt like I wasn't utilizing my special gifts to their potential and there was still so much more to do in my contribution to the world. But first, I needed to put out there what was important to me. After making the board, I realized my self expression was dying to come out. Notice there is no woman in a suit running a business on this board - or any images of busy city life (though ironically I live in NYC). This led to me owning the fact that I love that I am an artist far more than I am a business woman - and it is my creativity that fuels the business woman in me. Hence, I now wear my DVF dresses a lot less these days...and am on a path of sharing so much more of myself without worrying that I am "supposed" to be a certain way - and it is what makes Shaffali Skincare so different - it is authentically rooted in holistic healing and rituals for beauty + wellness.
2. The second vision board was for LOVE (WHAT DOES MY DREAM LOVE LOOK LIKE?). I could not stand creating another list of what "qualities that I am looking for in a partner for my love life". I have dated enough very different individuals (British scientist, French artist, Los Angeles healer, South African designer, NYC banker to name a few) to be so open minded to varying qualities yet I knew there were some things things I envisioned in my dream love life. So, there you have it universe. It is apparent that I am a romantic, I love to travel, dance and cuddle.
Some REALLY EXCITING THINGS THAT HAPPENED:
1. OUT of the BLUE (meaning I was not actively looking and an old contact reached out), I got to live in paradise teaching yoga for a month - it was well timed and the perfect opportunity for me given that I also run Shaffali Skincare.
2. I also found love, and slowly, over the time we have been together, our moments could be pasted right on top of identical pictures on my love vision board (perhaps to be shared in a future post). Yes, I am finally with the man of my dreams (who again proposed to me in a rose garden that looks like the very first vision board I made). Yes, I say it all the time and I mean it: my reality is MY dream and my dream is my reality.
Ideally after seeing and reading the examples above, you may be ready to create your own vision board - just make sure it suits you (meaning it may be digital or have a very different look such as being made with paints or drawings - yes, you could even make it on pinterest, though I have yet to use the site myself - which may change very soon). Most importantly ensure that the dreams are coming from within you and not what others expect.
My Tips for making the most-authentic-for-you vision board:
1. Sit in a meditation so that your mind is clear, calm and centered - so that you can come from the higher self within you (your spirit, not your ego). For a guided meditation, specifically for creativity, feel free to join me here. For convenience, here it is in the post:
2. Set an intention for what it is you are making a vision board for....or not (if you want to completely plug into your subconscious). In the article above I give examples of both a vision board that was from my subconscious (the flower garden) or the intentioned ones (myself, my love life and my businesses).
3. Collect magazines that would most likely have the visuals you are looking for (some of mine came from my mind/body wellness magazines as well as my spa magazines). If you are making a board for your dream home or wedding, you may want to get magazines specific to those items.
4. PLAY - select images and words WITHOUT overthinking (let your heart scream "YES!"), cut them out and paste. Watch your dreams unfold.*
*This is not an automatic thing.
First off, be careful of what you ask for - the universe will listen; In the past, I made some sort of reference to multiple loves without realizing it and alas, I was a serial dater for a while.
Second, ensure that other areas of your life are in line to allow for the beauty of your dreams to unfold. If you are not being true to your path in life, you may not get from point A to point B. I highly recommend yoga and meditation for this. As well as rituals to take care of yourself, such as the Shaffali Facial :) Please see the videos below - they are a great example of the content creation and sharing I refer to above.
In any case, my wish is that through this post you have found some sort of INSPIRATION to DREAM and VISUALIZE - now go and live the life of your dreams! Turn YOUR DREAMS INTO YOUR REALITY!
Lots of Love + Light to you!
Namaste,
Shaffali M.
Founder, Shaffali Beauty + Wellness
This Meditation will help unblock fear and allows you to believe in your soul's right to have safety and security. - Shaffali M.]]>
Shaffali Skincare founder Shaffali M. guides you through unlocking stagnant energy in your foundational energy concentration (Muladhara Chakra).
In her words, this meditation will help "unblock fear and allows you to believe in your soul's right to have safety and security."
Taped in the gorgeous private resort island of Parrot Cay, Turks + Caicos.
]]>Shaffali Miglani talks about love and letting go of the guilt she carried for 13 years.
Shaffali is founder of Shaffali Skincare, fusing exotic Ayurvedic herbs and spices, luxurious essential oils, antioxidant-rich fruit extracts, botanicals, affirmations, meditation and mantras to provide a sensory experience for your mind, body and soul.
]]>"you to be more in touch with a primal part of you in order to have free expression - especially in art and sex :). On a more serious note, the meditation does help in opening up your vulnerability to FEEL things FULLY." - Shaffali M.]]>
Shaffali Skincare founder Shaffali M. guides you through unlocking stagnant energy in your creative and sensual energy (Svadhistana Chakra).
In her words, this meditation will help "you to be more in touch with a primal part of you in order to have free expression - especially in art and sex :). On a more serious note, the meditation does help in opening up your vulnerability to FEEL things FULLY."
Taped in the gorgeous private resort island of Parrot Cay, Turks + Caicos.
The Video above is the intro and the video below is the actual guided meditation.
]]>My inspiration for this month’s blog originated with St. Patricks Day. I grew up in Rhode Island and it was quite a holiday there. Once in elementary school, we had a contest for wearing the color green and not only was my clothing that hue but I had also used green food coloring on my lips. My competitive nature drew me to think a bit outside the box.
Aside from green lips, I associate St. Patricks day with luck, which makes me think about fate and destiny. In the Indian culture, we have word called Kismet, which means destiny. My romantic and optimistic sides love the concept, though I believe we can influence our kismet - believing we can create what we perceive as luck through positive thoughts which lead to self fulfilling prophesies. I believe our kismet is a framework and it is up to us and our actions to fill in the framework or kismet of our lives. I choose to have my actions be positive thoughts which lead to self fulfilling prophesy – this creates responsibility and ownership for one’s actions versus leaving life to kismet alone. Wellness practices force us to be in touch with our own essence so that we can be our true and authentic selves. The better we can understand our self, the more comfortable we can be to being open in life, allowing us to have rich and unique experiences that some may refer to as lucky – I certainly feel this is how I have been living my life.
Cultivating Luck to Create your Kismet
My tips and guidance for creating your own luck and influencing your fate, destiny and Kismet:
1. Open your eyes and ears to opportunities. This requires a healthy amount openness to life. It’s like the lottery: you can’t win if you don’t play.
2. Choose the color lenses that are in your glasses. Believe me, I have had times in my life where they have been grey and black, but when I practice putting my rose colored glasses on, positivity reinforces itself.
3. Count your blessings. Begin and end each day filling your mind with all that you are grateful for.
4. Smile and laugh everyday.
5. Ask yourself "what makes me happy" and act on it!
6. Ask yourself "what do I want to do" and act on it!
When you are living your life in harmony with your life’s path (the aforementioned framework), then things will go smoothly and more signs will appear, it will be easy to keep the rose colored glasses on, you WILL laugh and smile a lot and you will naturally fill your head with gratitude.
Namaste,
Shaffali
Luck or Kismet? I was invited by a friend to teach yoga at THIS private island for a month at a time when I badly wanted to escape the NYC winter. It was a dream experience in every way possible. I certainly feel lucky and am full of gratitude. I also feel this was a part of my Kismet, perhaps due to a VERY clear message I had on a vision board (elaborated on in my vision board blog) which stated: TEACH IN PARADISE. And there you have it.
]]>This summer I went through a transformative (read: difficult) experience, which caused me to grow immensely. Thus, to help my self-diagnosed depression, I read The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer and also The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. I recommend reading them in that order as the former book has beautifully illustrated pages in full color and it’s a lighter read than the latter.
The main premise of Dr. Dyer’s book is to keep connected with your higher self (you know, the good, kind and ego-less person within you) by not allowing negative thoughts to linger in your mind (and therefore become strong) and to focus on cultivating positive thoughts. The Power of Now is also about keeping connected to your higher self but through a constant reiteration of being in the present moment while elaborating on exactly what that means from many different angles.
I truly believe that we are what we take in (not just through food, but also thoughts, sounds and images) and these books have certainly helped me stay better connected to my higher self through this reinforcement. And with the higher self comes the ability to understand others (because in the macrocosm we are all one) and where they are on the path to finding the good within themselves. This is wisdom.
]]>Person: My dear friend Eva who is in her mid sixties and one of my best friends. And not in a parent type of way. She is the same age as my parents and her children are my age, but it is the friendship between her and I that is special.
Place: Sunny Southern Socal
Activity: DANCE!!! Specifically, a free form dance group that I have been involved with since 2006 called Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
I absolutely love to dance. I am a constant explorer of my mind, body and soul through a variety of activities – dance being one of them
I met Eva in 2006 in a yoga class where she was loud and energetic. I thought, “Who is this crazy woman who seems much older than me and yet her practice is much stronger than mine” Somehow we got talking and she mentioned that she cuts hair and I happened to need a haircut so I went to see her. During the first time I got my hair done with Eva–who I now have been seeing for my hair almost exclusively for the past 6 years–Eva mentioned a dance class in LA and didn’t have much info on it except that it was supposed to be like dancing out your emotions. Well, if there is one thing that Eva and I have in common it’s that we are people who experience a full spectrum of emotions to the fullest (some may refer to us as crazy. I like to think of it as “in touch”). I barely knew Eva and I barely knew details about dance and agreed to go.
At the time we went,Fumbling Towards Ecstasy was held at the LA Fencing Center. Though I found it slightly weird with people walking in and beginning to move in whatever way felt right, I had enough exposure to an open, artistic, expressive and spiritual community to feel comfortable to step onto the fencing floor, close my eyes and begin to explore movement – for me, it is a moving meditation. The music guided the experience–it began with stillness, then went on to soft, lyrical and flowing energies to sharp contrasts from time to time to visually move the mood of the room–and the build up led to a crazy peak of chaos in which I was riding on an energy that was so powerful – an amazing high that I can’t compare to many natural highs. The whole community was so open to Eva and I. We met some great individuals from a variety of backgrounds and professions. Eventually, Eva and I ended up on a retreat with Jo Cobbet, the amazing woman who runs and DJs FTE, it was called Dream Sanctuary for the Soul in Ojai, CA (the next two sets of photos are from that magical retreat).
Dream Sanctuary for the Soul Dance Retreat: Eva receiving Tibet bowl vibrations
Dream Sanctuary for the Soul Dance Retreat: Eva receiving Tibet bowl vibrations – Me looking out at the beauty of our sacred place
Dream Sanctuary for the Soul Dance Retreat: Eva receiving Tibet bowl vibrations – Me looking out at the beauty of our sacred place – Another kindred spirit in the room
Eva with one of our Musicians at the retreat
To this day, though it has been four years since moving from sunny California, it is a Sunday ritual whenever I am in California for Eva and I to have the deepest talks on our drive to LA (from Orange County) and then we dance our hearts out for 3 hours, sometimes crying, laughing, hugging, having highs, screaming, and the emotional release and physical freedom of it feels all feels amazing, energizing and liberating.
]]>At about age 18, I read a book titled The Natural Year. It brought on a turning point for me. It provided me with so much knowledge and introduced me to so many resources to live a wellness lifestyle. It was essentially about becoming highly aware of how to live your life in tune with it’s surroundings and, in particular, the seasons. The book is broken down by months and each month introduces the reader to new ways to live a wellness lifestyle according to the season. I was so moved by this book that I began writing back and forth with the author who then lived in the English countryside, to thank her for how much she impacted my life.
The Natural Year introduced me to two simple fasts you can try purely for health reasons.
First, here are my top 5 reasons to fast:
1. Makes the skin GLOW (as well as the eyes)- toxins in the body can make the skin look dull and tired.
2. Gives the digestive system a break allowing for energy to be used on healing within the body.
3. Helps to calm and clear the mind.
S4. trengthens willpower and determination.
5. Allows you to appreciate healthy food far more and the taste of food far more.
A simple fast to try:
Day 1: Fruits and Veggies
Day 2: Juices only
Day 3: Water
Day 4: Juices
Day 5: Fruits and Veggies
My draw towards a wellness lifestyle was largely influenced by my mother. I observed the many fasts she did, (mainly for religious reasons) and the health benefits and peace that came along with her fasting. As a pre-teen, I too was inspired to fast. I remember how some fasts were excruciating (especially without school or distractions – everywhere I turned I saw food). And then others, if I allowed my mind to stay calm, disciplined and focused (activating my willpower), I would complete a fast with flying colors!
One last fast to share with you, called Karva Chauth is done by married women in India. They fast for one day (nothing, not even water) until they see the moon at night. I started doing Karva Chauth at age 16 for my future love (and do to this day) and around the age of 26, I became pretty disheartened with Karva Chauth (read: my love life). Until one day, at Karva Chauth related ceremony with my mother and sister-in-law, I spoke with a woman who said she had also done the fast for years before being married. I asked her if it was worth it, and she turned to me, looked straight in my eyes and said, “definitely.” I would have to say that I do feel fasting has had a positive effect on my mind, body soul…as well as my love life.
]]>In any case, my intention is to introduce you to the concept and then leave it to you to perhaps take the quiz or read the book.
]]>Seriously dreamy...on a Farm in Greece attending a wedding with my love
I wanted to share with you an assessment tool I starting using about five years ago to better understand myself and how I perceived and expressed love. The 5 Love Languages is a concept that was introduced to me by a dear friend who has always been very proactive in her own self-awareness.
In any case, my intention is to introduce you to the concept and then leave it to you to perhaps take the quiz or read the book. There are five main ways in which people express love to each other:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical touch
Some of you may not even need to take the quiz to know what you like. The real discovery is in finding out the love languages of our significant other, though this concept can extend to people beyond our personal relationships. The problem lies in that we often express love in the way we expect it and sometimes our love languages can be quite different than our partner’s. Thus, being aware of your own love languages and your partners can help you understand what to do to make them feel your love and vice versa.
Let’s face it – love can be blissful and it can be tough. I am still trying to figure it out myself. But the whole point of today’s post and this month’s theme is to explore love on a deeper level -
understand that for some of us, we can experience some pretty gruesome steps to selflessly love and feel compassion
take care of yourself or your partner in a way that can lead to a deeper sensual and emotional connection
attempt to deepen the awareness of your own love language as well as your partners
Oh, and the way to my heart? With a journal of over 3,000 pages (I’ve kept it since I was 9) and my love for skincare and yoga…my adoration for love letters and cuddling, go figure: Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.
Lots of LOVE! (AND COMPASSION)
xoxox
]]>Back in September, I attended BhaktiFest in the middle of Joshua Tree Desert, CA. Partly to represent the skincare collection and partly to have uplifting (ie life changing) experiences doing yoga in the middle of the desert. The latter was accomplished indeed and I can very much thank Mark Whitwell on my path to higher self-awareness and better understanding. I was introduced to Mark by another kindred spirit I had just met at BhaktiFest who insisted I come take his yoga class. I did not realize a beautiful talk and a deep asana practice was to follow.
Mark’s presence is illuminating. When he spoke, I felt the energy of many enlightened people emanating from Mark. For me, what resonated the most about Mark’s talk was about the phases of emotions we need to go through in order to reach ultimate love, compassion. Mark discussed the five stages of emotions and the way he conveyed the information led to clarity on:
1. fear
2. anger
3. pain
4. sadness
5. compassion
The key?
Honor each emotion as we experience it to lead to liberation so we could move on to the next.
]]>When I taught yoga for Equinox, I had done a training to teach a class called Temple Dance, which used scarves and basic movements as a foundation for a dance you turned into your own experience. It was fulfilling to be able to provide the gift of dance to people. At the time I was trained, I had been teaching yoga to a group of girls at a home for women with eating disorders. During one of our weekly sessions I asked the girls how they felt about dance and they all were up for it. For me, it was so beautiful to see these girls laugh and be whimsical as sometimes with our yoga practice, especially in some of the more quiet moments, they were having real difficulty facing what was going on inside. Though, I do believe overall it was a part of their healing to go through that. Thus, the gift of dance and movement allowed for a very happy time.
These days, I enjoy and love dance with James Darling. I came upon James in 2010 teaching a class at Equinox called Move and Groove. James is so much fun and has taught me how fun and silly dance can be–not to mention what an intense calorie burner. James is brilliant at choreography (something I have never been a big fan of) – I am definitely one of those free spirits that likes to move through listening to my body (read: do whatever I want). James allows for this element of silliness where he is not overly serious about following every step. Just one look at James’ website will convey to you a bit about him. James has been so healthy for me in my serious running a skincare company mode. He helps me shake things up and I love it.
May I suggest…
My request to you is to put yourself out there to try a dance oriented class that focuses on movement and expression rather than lots of choreography. I should mention, I am not a professional dancer and nor have I been trained as one. Dance out what you feel. Please share your experiences about trying this! (and according to our contest on FB this month, you’ll enter in yourself chances to win the products!) Also, as is with anything, you must make it a priority for making it happen – are you a member at a gym? See if they have a class you could try. Whatever the case, tell yourself:
“I will give myself the opportunity to feel (and look) amazing by trying a dance class this month”
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - by far one of my favorite dance rituals for me – expressive and meditative dance suit me…
Move and Groove - James, thank you for the lightness, laughter and leaps!
Belly Dance - In 2009, I took Belly Dance for 3 months (twice a week) and it was such a nice way to connect with ones sensuality – as well as hip gyrations and undulations!
Nia - Nia was a nice intro for me into more expressive and meditative dance forms. I first tried Nia 8 years ago.
5 Rhythms – When I moved to NYC, I was looking for a replacement to Fumbling Towards Ecstacy. I tried John’s class (he is the creator of 5 Rhythms son) and though it wasn’t as fulfilling as FTE, it is a great intro to moving according to various rhythms in the body and music. More info here.
Zumba – I have tried Zumba twice in the past few months and, for me, its not so fulfilling (too mechanical). I know it definitely works for some and I am sure the instructor makes a difference (If James were teaching this, I am sure I would be addicted). My purpose is to provide resources and I know Zumba is widely available – so try it for yourself and see what you think.
And I close with some empowering humor if you decide you want to dance professionally, whether you are male, female or deer....
]]>1. Scrub. Dry Brushing or scrubbing in circular motions towards the heart, promotes circulation.
2. Bathe. A detoxifying bath with minerals or bath salts and then a cold shower will activate the lymphatic system, which carries your system’s garbage to dispose.
3. Take Magnesium. Magnesium deficiency can lead to cancer, heart attacks, autism, diabetes, migraines, and high blood pressure. It helps produce hydrochloric acid in the body which aids in digestion.
4. Bask in the Sun. Sunlight for Vitamin D
5. Breathe. Fresh air for oxygen. Add oxygen to whole body by indulging in an oxygenated bath add 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide to your bath. A 30% oxygen reduction in cells is capable of turning healthy cells into cancerous cells. Breathe deeply as often as possible.
6. Drink Water. Clean out your body’s filters your kidneys by drinking half of your body weight in ounces of water. (Example, if you weigh 120 pounds, drink 60 oz of water).
7. Drink Liquids that are Beneficial for You (this will help you keep away from soda, alcohol or anything that is unnecessarily unhealthy for you). Some favorites: Warm water with lemon in the morning (to get the digestive system to gently wake up). Turmeric in a mixture of hot water, cloves, honey and cardamom (for an anti-infammatory and anti-depressive effect). Fennel seeds in water (for a super breath freshening digestive aid).
8. Fast Once a Week. Or at least stay away from harsh, complex or heavy foods once a week, if not always.
9. Learn to Relax. Choose to make relaxation a habit versus stressing.
10. Express Yourself (Madonna knew what she was talking about). Some suggestions: yoga, dance, music, mediation, writing, and reading.
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